I was honestly tired of talking about how I was feeling and reliving crime scenes while trying to find mental relief and peace. In the midst of a rough season, EMDR was mentioned to me. I was skeptical at first, but also willing to try new methods of therapy. After some research, I was intrigued at the idea of our own minds essentially being able to heal themselves with very little talk. I can say with certainty that after a few sessions I have been able to overcome some very dark feelings associated with the trauma I had been struggling with for a while, that was in part related to my work as a crime scene detective. I know I’m not done, but I also know that EMDR has been key to my healing process and resiliency.

R.S.,

All too often I would come home from work and the littlest thing would set me off. I was mean to my family and anyone whom I had any contact with. I sought the help of counseling because I had almost destroyed my marriage, family, and myself. I was very unhappy with myself as a person. I felt there was nothing good about me. However, I’ve learned there’s nothing wrong with talking about feelings and emotions no matter how tough you are because everyone has a breaking point and there’s no shame in wanting to get help.

Anonymous Client,

During my career of responding to very violent scenes, I developed PTSD. Not knowing I was experiencing PTSD and being told by my ex-wife I needed to seek counseling due to my mood swings, I denied and refused to go to counseling because I felt there was nothing wrong with me. This resulted in my divorce. During my second relationship, I continued to be go through up and downs and be very moody. My girlfriend at the time felt as though she was walking on eggshells every time I came home from work. I was told by my girlfriend I needed counseling and once again I refused. It wasn’t until after being told to leave my house by my girlfriend that I sought counseling.

In my opinion, I feel that most first responders don't seek help because they don't realize they are dealing with PTSD. I also feel that police officers are the #1 in NOT seeking help because we hold ourselves to a higher level -- when in reality we need it the most. Behind the Badge has a team of PTSD first responders who have been there done that and are able to deal with a first responder in need or just someone to talk to.

Richard T. Garcia, Retired Police Officer, Albuquerque Police Dept.

Odyssey Counseling and Behind the Badge are focusing on us [first responders] and the trauma that we deal with on a daily basis. My advice to others is: get the help. It works if you truly want it to. My quality of life outside of work is better than I ever imagined.

Mike Salazar, Bernalillo County Fire and Rescue